Htydjtk

Someone, possible thought it might be compassionate, stated:

Also (next to compassion), when you spread loving kindness, do NOT spread it to yourself. No where in any discourse does the Buddha says to spread loving kindness to your self. All the places when Buddha talks about metta, he says to spread loving kindness to all beings in each directions.

Possible to have real compassion or/and goodwill, not to speak about mudita and upekkha, without having one self floated with it.

So is this true or the very base not traced? Possible Nihilist-Trap? Possible that certain Kings at Buddhas times have been wiser and more compassionate as intellectuals may ever be? Possible not seen the qualities of Ariyasāvakas and thought in common terms?

[Note: this question is one of compassion and not thought for trade, exchange, stackes, Buddh-ism, or what ever binds to the low.]

Samma sankappa, thought of renunciation, and samadhi is compassion and goodwill for oneself. It is how you behave when you are alone, so according to people who translate sila as morality, that's not sila (but it is indeed sila).
For other people, you have thought of non-arming, thought of amity, metta, mudita and so on.

The metta sutta was probably addressed to monks because the stanza opens with already being established in the noble eightfold path, as follows:

This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech,
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied,
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm and wise and skillful,
Not proud or demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in safety,
May all beings be at ease.

Also, the Buddha indeed mentioned to care first for oneself and then for others. This is not egoism, but intelligent self-care. The dhammapada states:

One should first establish oneself in what is proper; then only one should teach others. A wise man should not incur reproach.

Dhammapada 158

By oneself indeed is evil done and by oneself is one defiled; by oneself is evil not done and by oneself is one purified. Purity and impurity depend entirely on oneself; no one can purify another.

Dhammapada 165

For the sake of another's benefit, however great it may be, do not neglect one's own (moral) benefit. Clearly perceiving one's own benefit one should make every effort to attain it.

Dhammapada 166

Also, the Buddha was a proponent of flexibility in his approach. You might know this as conventional language (to lay people) and absolute (to monks). The teachings on both addressee vary. Sometimes, the Buddha remained even silent because it was not connected to the goal, i.e., reduce suffering (& Nibbana).

Take for example MN 20 or Capala Sutta AN 7.58. In both suttas Buddha gave a number of strategies that can be employed. The idea is to be flexible and to see what works in any given time. 'Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't'. 'If it doesn't, let me use this instead'.

What is said there is when you practice loving kindness, you should NOT say "May I be" or "May my so and so be" because in those cases you are putting your self before others.

Buddha never says "May I be well, etc." instead Buddha says in any discourse when he is talking about loving kindness (metta) he says to practice as "May all beings be...".

However, that does not mean disparage yourself.

On one hand it means boundless - no boundary around me or my ones. For example, if you put yourself or your child first, what happens to the loving kindness when a deadly snake is about to bite you or your child? Will you kill the snake?

Even more importantly, when you say "May I be...", you are feeding the identity view (sakkayaditti). Every discourse of the Buddha is a path to Nibbana. Good example is metta-sutta in Suttanipata. To attain Nibbana you need to remove identity-view. Therefore the practice of loving kindness that Buddha teaches will not say "May I be...".

Thanks to this great teacher and explanation of Loving kindness meditation, I too got to learn about this.