How to politely ask people to give up their seats?












2















Say we're a family of four, and would like to sit together on a train. How can I ask people to give up their seats without sounding rude?






phrase-request







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    2















    Say we're a family of four, and would like to sit together on a train. How can I ask people to give up their seats without sounding rude?






    phrase-request







    share|improve this question

























      2












      2








      2








      Say we're a family of four, and would like to sit together on a train. How can I ask people to give up their seats without sounding rude?






      phrase-request







      share|improve this question














      Say we're a family of four, and would like to sit together on a train. How can I ask people to give up their seats without sounding rude?






      phrase-request




      phrase-request






      share|improve this question













      share|improve this question











      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question










      asked 6 hours ago









      P. H.P. H.

      202




      202






















          2 Answers
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          4














          If you have no seats to trade and they would have to stand, don't even bother asking.



          But if you do have seats to trade, say this:




          "We were hoping to sit together as a family. Is there any chance you would consider trading with us? If so, we'd be grateful. If not, no worries."




          This makes a polite request without applying any pressure, so it is very unlikely to appear as rude. And because it's so nice and disarming, it is very likely to achieve the intended result.



          By the way, if they do trade with you, make sure to thank them warmly.






          share|improve this answer
























          • I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago



















          4














          You could say "Could you please move, so that we can sit together?". Be prepared, in Britain, at least, for people to consider the request rude, no matter how you phrase it, and to say "No. Go away" (or worse!), especially if they have reserved their seats, or if they would have to stand in order to accommodate you. In many countries you can reserve seats at the time of buying the tickets, and ask to have them together.






          share|improve this answer
























          • This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

            – P. H.
            6 hours ago








          • 1





            Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

            – Michael Harvey
            5 hours ago











          • It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago











          • Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

            – Lambie
            2 hours ago






          • 1





            Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

            – alephzero
            1 hour ago











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          2 Answers
          2






          active

          oldest

          votes








          2 Answers
          2






          active

          oldest

          votes









          active

          oldest

          votes






          active

          oldest

          votes









          4














          If you have no seats to trade and they would have to stand, don't even bother asking.



          But if you do have seats to trade, say this:




          "We were hoping to sit together as a family. Is there any chance you would consider trading with us? If so, we'd be grateful. If not, no worries."




          This makes a polite request without applying any pressure, so it is very unlikely to appear as rude. And because it's so nice and disarming, it is very likely to achieve the intended result.



          By the way, if they do trade with you, make sure to thank them warmly.






          share|improve this answer
























          • I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago
















          4














          If you have no seats to trade and they would have to stand, don't even bother asking.



          But if you do have seats to trade, say this:




          "We were hoping to sit together as a family. Is there any chance you would consider trading with us? If so, we'd be grateful. If not, no worries."




          This makes a polite request without applying any pressure, so it is very unlikely to appear as rude. And because it's so nice and disarming, it is very likely to achieve the intended result.



          By the way, if they do trade with you, make sure to thank them warmly.






          share|improve this answer
























          • I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago














          4












          4








          4







          If you have no seats to trade and they would have to stand, don't even bother asking.



          But if you do have seats to trade, say this:




          "We were hoping to sit together as a family. Is there any chance you would consider trading with us? If so, we'd be grateful. If not, no worries."




          This makes a polite request without applying any pressure, so it is very unlikely to appear as rude. And because it's so nice and disarming, it is very likely to achieve the intended result.



          By the way, if they do trade with you, make sure to thank them warmly.






          share|improve this answer













          If you have no seats to trade and they would have to stand, don't even bother asking.



          But if you do have seats to trade, say this:




          "We were hoping to sit together as a family. Is there any chance you would consider trading with us? If so, we'd be grateful. If not, no worries."




          This makes a polite request without applying any pressure, so it is very unlikely to appear as rude. And because it's so nice and disarming, it is very likely to achieve the intended result.



          By the way, if they do trade with you, make sure to thank them warmly.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 5 hours ago









          RobustoRobusto

          11.5k22938




          11.5k22938













          • I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago



















          • I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago

















          I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

          – Zubin Mukerjee
          2 hours ago





          I like this answer. The OP should not presume that strangers will move seats to accommodate his/her family. That is an unfair presumption and also could lead to the request coming off as rude subconsciously, via the tone, facial expressions, etc. I think this answer does a good job of phrasing the question to avoid such a presumption.

          – Zubin Mukerjee
          2 hours ago













          4














          You could say "Could you please move, so that we can sit together?". Be prepared, in Britain, at least, for people to consider the request rude, no matter how you phrase it, and to say "No. Go away" (or worse!), especially if they have reserved their seats, or if they would have to stand in order to accommodate you. In many countries you can reserve seats at the time of buying the tickets, and ask to have them together.






          share|improve this answer
























          • This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

            – P. H.
            6 hours ago








          • 1





            Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

            – Michael Harvey
            5 hours ago











          • It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago











          • Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

            – Lambie
            2 hours ago






          • 1





            Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

            – alephzero
            1 hour ago
















          4














          You could say "Could you please move, so that we can sit together?". Be prepared, in Britain, at least, for people to consider the request rude, no matter how you phrase it, and to say "No. Go away" (or worse!), especially if they have reserved their seats, or if they would have to stand in order to accommodate you. In many countries you can reserve seats at the time of buying the tickets, and ask to have them together.






          share|improve this answer
























          • This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

            – P. H.
            6 hours ago








          • 1





            Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

            – Michael Harvey
            5 hours ago











          • It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago











          • Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

            – Lambie
            2 hours ago






          • 1





            Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

            – alephzero
            1 hour ago














          4












          4








          4







          You could say "Could you please move, so that we can sit together?". Be prepared, in Britain, at least, for people to consider the request rude, no matter how you phrase it, and to say "No. Go away" (or worse!), especially if they have reserved their seats, or if they would have to stand in order to accommodate you. In many countries you can reserve seats at the time of buying the tickets, and ask to have them together.






          share|improve this answer













          You could say "Could you please move, so that we can sit together?". Be prepared, in Britain, at least, for people to consider the request rude, no matter how you phrase it, and to say "No. Go away" (or worse!), especially if they have reserved their seats, or if they would have to stand in order to accommodate you. In many countries you can reserve seats at the time of buying the tickets, and ask to have them together.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 6 hours ago









          Michael HarveyMichael Harvey

          14.8k11632




          14.8k11632













          • This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

            – P. H.
            6 hours ago








          • 1





            Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

            – Michael Harvey
            5 hours ago











          • It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago











          • Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

            – Lambie
            2 hours ago






          • 1





            Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

            – alephzero
            1 hour ago



















          • This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

            – P. H.
            6 hours ago








          • 1





            Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

            – Michael Harvey
            5 hours ago











          • It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

            – Zubin Mukerjee
            2 hours ago











          • Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

            – Lambie
            2 hours ago






          • 1





            Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

            – alephzero
            1 hour ago

















          This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

          – P. H.
          6 hours ago







          This is on Amtrak though, where you are not assigned any seats while still guaranteed one.

          – P. H.
          6 hours ago






          1




          1





          Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

          – Michael Harvey
          5 hours ago





          Maybe Americans are more polite, but in Britain, people generally don't consider being a family group gives you the right to turf people out of their seats.

          – Michael Harvey
          5 hours ago













          It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

          – Zubin Mukerjee
          2 hours ago





          It isn't just a British thing; I am from the US and I agree. I think that moving to accommodate the family is a very kind gesture by the mover, but I also think that expecting it would be too much. The question (if it's asked at all) should be phrased apologetically (perhaps with "is there any chance you could... ?") so that it's clear that there is no presumption/expectation by the family that others will move for them.

          – Zubin Mukerjee
          2 hours ago













          Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

          – Lambie
          2 hours ago





          Who said the seats were reserved? There is no harm in asking if other similar seats are available.

          – Lambie
          2 hours ago




          1




          1





          Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

          – alephzero
          1 hour ago





          Brits are not generally "family friendly", period. The mere entrance of a family including children into the train carriage is going to annoy most of them, even before you try to evict them from their seats.

          – alephzero
          1 hour ago


















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