Avoiding morning and evening handshakes












19















I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.



Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.



I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).



Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.






offices concentration handshake ukraine







share|improve this question




















  • 27





    Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.

    – David K
    6 hours ago






  • 2





    Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)

    – Eugene A
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P

    – Mason Wheeler
    3 hours ago








  • 2





    Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.

    – MonkeyZeus
    3 hours ago






  • 7





    @Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.

    – MonkeyZeus
    2 hours ago


















19















I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.



Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.



I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).



Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.






offices concentration handshake ukraine







share|improve this question




















  • 27





    Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.

    – David K
    6 hours ago






  • 2





    Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)

    – Eugene A
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P

    – Mason Wheeler
    3 hours ago








  • 2





    Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.

    – MonkeyZeus
    3 hours ago






  • 7





    @Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.

    – MonkeyZeus
    2 hours ago
















19












19








19








I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.



Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.



I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).



Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.






offices concentration handshake ukraine







share|improve this question
















I work in an open space office at the moment with ~30 people on the same floor. I tend to arrive early and leave late thus flocks of arriving and leaving people are zooming past me both in the morning and in the evening, each considers it customary to stop by and shake my hand, regardless if I put on my headphones or not.



Not that I am socially awkward (I have some trouble remembering all the faces and names though), but getting pulled out of "the flow"
by turning my head and shaking a hand each time is detrimental for my concentration, which is regrettably not one of my stronger sides. I would much rather shake hands on my own with a [much smaller] pool of local folks.



I work in Eastern Europe (Ukraine).



Is there a "known" silver bullet to stop this custom without being known as an odd guy? I searched The Workplace and considered the options for related questions, however none address this particular situation.






offices concentration handshake ukraine




offices concentration handshake ukraine






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 6 hours ago









Joe Strazzere

249k1237271030




249k1237271030










asked 6 hours ago









Eugene AEugene A

4961713




4961713








  • 27





    Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.

    – David K
    6 hours ago






  • 2





    Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)

    – Eugene A
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P

    – Mason Wheeler
    3 hours ago








  • 2





    Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.

    – MonkeyZeus
    3 hours ago






  • 7





    @Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.

    – MonkeyZeus
    2 hours ago
















  • 27





    Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.

    – David K
    6 hours ago






  • 2





    Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)

    – Eugene A
    6 hours ago






  • 1





    Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P

    – Mason Wheeler
    3 hours ago








  • 2





    Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.

    – MonkeyZeus
    3 hours ago






  • 7





    @Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.

    – MonkeyZeus
    2 hours ago










27




27





Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.

– David K
6 hours ago





Is shaking hands like this every day customary in your region? This would be completely bizarre in the US.

– David K
6 hours ago




2




2





Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)

– Eugene A
6 hours ago





Shaking hands is a widespread way to greet people, inside and outside alike here; it's just in this particular office I find it distracting enough to post a question here :-)

– Eugene A
6 hours ago




1




1





Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P

– Mason Wheeler
3 hours ago







Just feel glad that you're not in the parts of Europe and South America where the customary greeting is a kiss! :P

– Mason Wheeler
3 hours ago






2




2





Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.

– MonkeyZeus
3 hours ago





Does everyone shake eachother's hands too? I keep imagining the end of a soccer match where each team walks by and shakes everyone's hand on the opposing team; is this what it's like? I am Ukrainian also but I live in the U.S. and I would find it odd to shake hands every single day like that.

– MonkeyZeus
3 hours ago




7




7





@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.

– MonkeyZeus
2 hours ago







@Blackhole Well that is just fascinating. I shake hands with my co-workers on three occasions at most: my first day on the job (or first time meeting someone), my last day at the job, and occasionally when I run into them outside of work.

– MonkeyZeus
2 hours ago












4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes


















43














You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.



Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.



Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted



Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.



You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".



Don't hide.






share|improve this answer



















  • 9





    This answer is sad but true.

    – Koray Tugay
    3 hours ago






  • 2





    This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

    – krillgar
    2 hours ago






  • 1





    This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

    – CullenJ
    1 hour ago





















22














Get a different desk.



It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.






share|improve this answer



















  • 2





    Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

    – Eugene A
    3 hours ago



















9














Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.



Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...






share|improve this answer
























  • Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

    – Darrel Hoffman
    1 hour ago






  • 1





    @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

    – Solar Mike
    1 hour ago






  • 2





    @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

    – Headblender
    1 hour ago













  • I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

    – Darrel Hoffman
    49 mins ago











  • @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

    – kubanczyk
    26 mins ago





















0














I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).



In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.



I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.






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    4 Answers
    4






    active

    oldest

    votes








    4 Answers
    4






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes









    43














    You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.



    Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.



    Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted



    Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.



    You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".



    Don't hide.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 9





      This answer is sad but true.

      – Koray Tugay
      3 hours ago






    • 2





      This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

      – krillgar
      2 hours ago






    • 1





      This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

      – CullenJ
      1 hour ago


















    43














    You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.



    Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.



    Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted



    Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.



    You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".



    Don't hide.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 9





      This answer is sad but true.

      – Koray Tugay
      3 hours ago






    • 2





      This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

      – krillgar
      2 hours ago






    • 1





      This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

      – CullenJ
      1 hour ago
















    43












    43








    43







    You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.



    Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.



    Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted



    Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.



    You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".



    Don't hide.






    share|improve this answer













    You know this is going to happen and it appears to be important to the culture in your office.



    Plan your day so you are doing easily interruptible work (for example, answering emails) at that time.



    Don't try to "get in the flow" when you know you will be interrupted



    Getting along well with your coworkers is at least as important to your career as writing good code.



    You don't need to encourage extended conversation, but it's important that you are thought of as "one of us".



    Don't hide.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered 5 hours ago









    Dan PichelmanDan Pichelman

    28k137693




    28k137693








    • 9





      This answer is sad but true.

      – Koray Tugay
      3 hours ago






    • 2





      This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

      – krillgar
      2 hours ago






    • 1





      This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

      – CullenJ
      1 hour ago
















    • 9





      This answer is sad but true.

      – Koray Tugay
      3 hours ago






    • 2





      This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

      – krillgar
      2 hours ago






    • 1





      This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

      – CullenJ
      1 hour ago










    9




    9





    This answer is sad but true.

    – Koray Tugay
    3 hours ago





    This answer is sad but true.

    – Koray Tugay
    3 hours ago




    2




    2





    This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

    – krillgar
    2 hours ago





    This is really awful advice. Your coworkers should be respectful of your time. Unless everyone comes in within a 5 minute window, there will be a significant portion of your day lost to people wanting to say hi.

    – krillgar
    2 hours ago




    1




    1





    This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

    – CullenJ
    1 hour ago







    This clearly answers the question "Is there a way to avoid this" with the correct answer: No, so plan around it. This isn't a problem of coworkers not respecting the OP, it's frankly that the OP is not respecting their coworkers. Not making the small amount of effort to perform the standard greeting of the culture you're in because you're "in the zone" is, to put it simply, impolite.

    – CullenJ
    1 hour ago















    22














    Get a different desk.



    It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 2





      Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

      – Eugene A
      3 hours ago
















    22














    Get a different desk.



    It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 2





      Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

      – Eugene A
      3 hours ago














    22












    22








    22







    Get a different desk.



    It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.






    share|improve this answer













    Get a different desk.



    It sounds like a big part of your problem is that you are in the natural flow of traffic between the entrance and a significant number of desks. This is also hampering your work. Talk with your supervisor and see if you can't get your desk moved to a more out-of-the-way corner. If they aren't passing by you, they won't shake your hand by default, and it's not something you're obviously doing, so no one is likely to see it as odd.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered 5 hours ago









    Ben BardenBen Barden

    6,13931320




    6,13931320








    • 2





      Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

      – Eugene A
      3 hours ago














    • 2





      Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

      – Eugene A
      3 hours ago








    2




    2





    Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

    – Eugene A
    3 hours ago





    Ahhh very true, I sit right in the middle of the room, aisle seat.

    – Eugene A
    3 hours ago











    9














    Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.



    Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...






    share|improve this answer
























    • Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      1 hour ago






    • 1





      @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

      – Solar Mike
      1 hour ago






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

      – Headblender
      1 hour ago













    • I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      49 mins ago











    • @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

      – kubanczyk
      26 mins ago


















    9














    Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.



    Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...






    share|improve this answer
























    • Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      1 hour ago






    • 1





      @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

      – Solar Mike
      1 hour ago






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

      – Headblender
      1 hour ago













    • I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      49 mins ago











    • @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

      – kubanczyk
      26 mins ago
















    9












    9








    9







    Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.



    Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...






    share|improve this answer













    Easiest option to avoid upsetting others is to find a quiet room for 30 or 40 minutes at the start, and end, of the day so you are just not there when they stream by.



    Any other suggestion, such as "pretend a sports injury" etc etc don't work for extended periods...







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered 6 hours ago









    Solar MikeSolar Mike

    1,746812




    1,746812













    • Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      1 hour ago






    • 1





      @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

      – Solar Mike
      1 hour ago






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

      – Headblender
      1 hour ago













    • I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      49 mins ago











    • @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

      – kubanczyk
      26 mins ago





















    • Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      1 hour ago






    • 1





      @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

      – Solar Mike
      1 hour ago






    • 2





      @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

      – Headblender
      1 hour ago













    • I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

      – Darrel Hoffman
      49 mins ago











    • @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

      – kubanczyk
      26 mins ago



















    Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

    – Darrel Hoffman
    1 hour ago





    Five words: "I have a medical condition". Simultaneously does two things: shuts down any further questions as to the nature of the condition (assuming medical privacy is valued there as much as it is in the US), and also makes people wary of complaining about it for fear of getting HR involved. I doubt you'll need a doctor's note to prove it or anything, and there are any number of legit medical conditions that would make repeated handshakes problematic.

    – Darrel Hoffman
    1 hour ago




    1




    1





    @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

    – Solar Mike
    1 hour ago





    @DarrelHoffman perhaps you should make this an answer - at least it could have been better placed than just a comment against my answer...

    – Solar Mike
    1 hour ago




    2




    2





    @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

    – Headblender
    1 hour ago







    @DarrelHoffman Feigning a medical condition might be difficult if he has been shaking hands up until now. You can bet some (perhaps many) people will ask, "What happened?" Further, if someone told me they can't shake my hand because of a "medical condition" and wouldn't divulge what that condition was, I'd take care to avoid any contact with them at all.

    – Headblender
    1 hour ago















    I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

    – Darrel Hoffman
    49 mins ago





    I thought about making that an actual answer, but I'm not sure it's enough of a good idea to seriously suggest it. It was mainly in response to the "pretend a sports injury" comment you made.

    – Darrel Hoffman
    49 mins ago













    @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

    – kubanczyk
    26 mins ago







    @SolarMike Hmmm. Believe it or not, handshaking is often very ingrained in the culture and not an empty/background gesture. Many co-workers will notice the maneuver after at most three-four days and comment on it. They really keep in their head the list of people and daily handshakes. I know I did. Thus this would very likely fail the "I don't want to be the odd guy" requirement.

    – kubanczyk
    26 mins ago













    0














    I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).



    In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
    Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
    Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.



    I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.






    share|improve this answer




























      0














      I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).



      In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
      Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
      Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.



      I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.






      share|improve this answer


























        0












        0








        0







        I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).



        In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
        Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
        Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.



        I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.






        share|improve this answer













        I have been through the same and I understand that social conventions sometimes are inconvenient (or undesired when involving physical contact like birthday hugs).



        In my experience, most people will eventually get used to your preferences. I would explain to each one your reasons and politely ask to say hi in a less distracting way, for example, just waving.
        Some will be offended but there is nothing wrong with wanting your focus to remain intact while you work and while you respectfully draw limits, there should be no problem.
        Also, talking to everyone individually, you can explain without hurting their feelings, you give the message of being important enough to have "the talk", and give them a chance to process it.



        I would avoid just not answering the shake from one day to another because they will probably be confused by the behavioural change and will assume the reason ("he's becoming weird", "what did I do?"), and potentially damage your social life there (not receiving after-office activities invitation, eating alone, etc). Leave the least space to assumptions and you should be fine.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered 5 hours ago









        AurinxkiAurinxki

        2216




        2216






























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