Caught masturbating at work





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A female colleague saw me masturbating at work. I was in my office after hours with the door locked and blinds down, but I'm afraid the blinds had a crack. I am not an exhibitionist, and this was a moment of weakness. This incident would have been over a month ago, and yes, I have stopped doing that. I only work with my door and blinds open now.



She's been glaring at me for weeks with what looks like contempt. Sometimes I won't even know she's there, but I turn to see her staring me down. It's incredibly uncomfortable.



I have not approached her, and it has never been acknowledged that this is why she's upset. Actually, I'm not even 100% sure if she saw me, but I cannot explain the behavior otherwise, as our rapport went from positive to suddenly hostile without any explanation. I once went to her cubicle and she immediately told me my presence was unwanted. She has had a history of reporting male colleagues that have unwanted advances on her, so I'm afraid that whatever I do to rectify the scenario will make it worse. Note that I don't generally spend time around this person, so I can't think what else I could have done to offend.



How should I approach this scenario? It could be that she's mad about something entirely different, but I wouldn't have the slightest idea at what.



This is in a midwestern US company with roughly 200 employees. We're not in the same unit, but at times are at the same meetings. Nobody else seems to be treating me differently, and I am generally very well-liked by my other colleagues.










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    1















    A female colleague saw me masturbating at work. I was in my office after hours with the door locked and blinds down, but I'm afraid the blinds had a crack. I am not an exhibitionist, and this was a moment of weakness. This incident would have been over a month ago, and yes, I have stopped doing that. I only work with my door and blinds open now.



    She's been glaring at me for weeks with what looks like contempt. Sometimes I won't even know she's there, but I turn to see her staring me down. It's incredibly uncomfortable.



    I have not approached her, and it has never been acknowledged that this is why she's upset. Actually, I'm not even 100% sure if she saw me, but I cannot explain the behavior otherwise, as our rapport went from positive to suddenly hostile without any explanation. I once went to her cubicle and she immediately told me my presence was unwanted. She has had a history of reporting male colleagues that have unwanted advances on her, so I'm afraid that whatever I do to rectify the scenario will make it worse. Note that I don't generally spend time around this person, so I can't think what else I could have done to offend.



    How should I approach this scenario? It could be that she's mad about something entirely different, but I wouldn't have the slightest idea at what.



    This is in a midwestern US company with roughly 200 employees. We're not in the same unit, but at times are at the same meetings. Nobody else seems to be treating me differently, and I am generally very well-liked by my other colleagues.










    share|improve this question







    New contributor




    user102949 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
    Check out our Code of Conduct.























      1












      1








      1


      1






      A female colleague saw me masturbating at work. I was in my office after hours with the door locked and blinds down, but I'm afraid the blinds had a crack. I am not an exhibitionist, and this was a moment of weakness. This incident would have been over a month ago, and yes, I have stopped doing that. I only work with my door and blinds open now.



      She's been glaring at me for weeks with what looks like contempt. Sometimes I won't even know she's there, but I turn to see her staring me down. It's incredibly uncomfortable.



      I have not approached her, and it has never been acknowledged that this is why she's upset. Actually, I'm not even 100% sure if she saw me, but I cannot explain the behavior otherwise, as our rapport went from positive to suddenly hostile without any explanation. I once went to her cubicle and she immediately told me my presence was unwanted. She has had a history of reporting male colleagues that have unwanted advances on her, so I'm afraid that whatever I do to rectify the scenario will make it worse. Note that I don't generally spend time around this person, so I can't think what else I could have done to offend.



      How should I approach this scenario? It could be that she's mad about something entirely different, but I wouldn't have the slightest idea at what.



      This is in a midwestern US company with roughly 200 employees. We're not in the same unit, but at times are at the same meetings. Nobody else seems to be treating me differently, and I am generally very well-liked by my other colleagues.










      share|improve this question







      New contributor




      user102949 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.












      A female colleague saw me masturbating at work. I was in my office after hours with the door locked and blinds down, but I'm afraid the blinds had a crack. I am not an exhibitionist, and this was a moment of weakness. This incident would have been over a month ago, and yes, I have stopped doing that. I only work with my door and blinds open now.



      She's been glaring at me for weeks with what looks like contempt. Sometimes I won't even know she's there, but I turn to see her staring me down. It's incredibly uncomfortable.



      I have not approached her, and it has never been acknowledged that this is why she's upset. Actually, I'm not even 100% sure if she saw me, but I cannot explain the behavior otherwise, as our rapport went from positive to suddenly hostile without any explanation. I once went to her cubicle and she immediately told me my presence was unwanted. She has had a history of reporting male colleagues that have unwanted advances on her, so I'm afraid that whatever I do to rectify the scenario will make it worse. Note that I don't generally spend time around this person, so I can't think what else I could have done to offend.



      How should I approach this scenario? It could be that she's mad about something entirely different, but I wouldn't have the slightest idea at what.



      This is in a midwestern US company with roughly 200 employees. We're not in the same unit, but at times are at the same meetings. Nobody else seems to be treating me differently, and I am generally very well-liked by my other colleagues.







      harassment sexual-harassment






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      asked 3 hours ago









      user102949user102949

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          2 Answers
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          8














          Do nothing. Anything you do would contribute to validating the story she possibly could tell. That story now would now be "I watched trough the closed blinds of the room of a co-worker, and I though he may be masturbating" and then it could be followed by "so I watched long enough to be sure" or "I turned away quickly". No matter how inappropriate or disgusting, neither case is the basis for clear-cut sexual harassment. Not sure how your company handle such inappropriate behavior, but better not to ask.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 1





            Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

            – Patricia Shanahan
            1 hour ago



















          -1














          I am afraid you might be a little confused. You NEVER masturbated at work. Something like that is beneath a professional like you. Anybody at work making any allegations of such a disgusting, unprofessional act should and will be reported to HR a liable for defamation charges.

          Now that you remember nothing happened, make sure you don't even mention such a random possibility in any conversation with your colleagues, female or otherwise. After all, you would be discussing something that never happened.





          share
























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            2 Answers
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            2 Answers
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            active

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            active

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            8














            Do nothing. Anything you do would contribute to validating the story she possibly could tell. That story now would now be "I watched trough the closed blinds of the room of a co-worker, and I though he may be masturbating" and then it could be followed by "so I watched long enough to be sure" or "I turned away quickly". No matter how inappropriate or disgusting, neither case is the basis for clear-cut sexual harassment. Not sure how your company handle such inappropriate behavior, but better not to ask.






            share|improve this answer



















            • 1





              Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

              – Patricia Shanahan
              1 hour ago
















            8














            Do nothing. Anything you do would contribute to validating the story she possibly could tell. That story now would now be "I watched trough the closed blinds of the room of a co-worker, and I though he may be masturbating" and then it could be followed by "so I watched long enough to be sure" or "I turned away quickly". No matter how inappropriate or disgusting, neither case is the basis for clear-cut sexual harassment. Not sure how your company handle such inappropriate behavior, but better not to ask.






            share|improve this answer



















            • 1





              Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

              – Patricia Shanahan
              1 hour ago














            8












            8








            8







            Do nothing. Anything you do would contribute to validating the story she possibly could tell. That story now would now be "I watched trough the closed blinds of the room of a co-worker, and I though he may be masturbating" and then it could be followed by "so I watched long enough to be sure" or "I turned away quickly". No matter how inappropriate or disgusting, neither case is the basis for clear-cut sexual harassment. Not sure how your company handle such inappropriate behavior, but better not to ask.






            share|improve this answer













            Do nothing. Anything you do would contribute to validating the story she possibly could tell. That story now would now be "I watched trough the closed blinds of the room of a co-worker, and I though he may be masturbating" and then it could be followed by "so I watched long enough to be sure" or "I turned away quickly". No matter how inappropriate or disgusting, neither case is the basis for clear-cut sexual harassment. Not sure how your company handle such inappropriate behavior, but better not to ask.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered 2 hours ago









            SaschaSascha

            8,94221840




            8,94221840








            • 1





              Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

              – Patricia Shanahan
              1 hour ago














            • 1





              Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

              – Patricia Shanahan
              1 hour ago








            1




            1





            Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

            – Patricia Shanahan
            1 hour ago





            Keep your contacts with her strictly necessary business. Avoid one-on-one meetings with her.

            – Patricia Shanahan
            1 hour ago













            -1














            I am afraid you might be a little confused. You NEVER masturbated at work. Something like that is beneath a professional like you. Anybody at work making any allegations of such a disgusting, unprofessional act should and will be reported to HR a liable for defamation charges.

            Now that you remember nothing happened, make sure you don't even mention such a random possibility in any conversation with your colleagues, female or otherwise. After all, you would be discussing something that never happened.





            share




























              -1














              I am afraid you might be a little confused. You NEVER masturbated at work. Something like that is beneath a professional like you. Anybody at work making any allegations of such a disgusting, unprofessional act should and will be reported to HR a liable for defamation charges.

              Now that you remember nothing happened, make sure you don't even mention such a random possibility in any conversation with your colleagues, female or otherwise. After all, you would be discussing something that never happened.





              share


























                -1












                -1








                -1







                I am afraid you might be a little confused. You NEVER masturbated at work. Something like that is beneath a professional like you. Anybody at work making any allegations of such a disgusting, unprofessional act should and will be reported to HR a liable for defamation charges.

                Now that you remember nothing happened, make sure you don't even mention such a random possibility in any conversation with your colleagues, female or otherwise. After all, you would be discussing something that never happened.





                share













                I am afraid you might be a little confused. You NEVER masturbated at work. Something like that is beneath a professional like you. Anybody at work making any allegations of such a disgusting, unprofessional act should and will be reported to HR a liable for defamation charges.

                Now that you remember nothing happened, make sure you don't even mention such a random possibility in any conversation with your colleagues, female or otherwise. After all, you would be discussing something that never happened.






                share











                share


                share










                answered 53 secs ago









                MonoandaleMonoandale

                3,55652258




                3,55652258






















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